I was talking to an acquaintance at the end of a meeting recently. After we chatted for a few minutes, she asked me what I was up to.
“I’m going running now,” I said.
“Oh, I can’t run,” she said.
“Have you ever tried running?” I asked.
“No,” she said with a laugh.
“Then how do you know you can’t?”
It’s amazing how many things we say we “can’t” do.
Saying “I can’t” closes the door to any possibility of trying something new. Our brains are wired in such a way that if we tell ourselves we can’t, our brains won’t waste one millisecond trying to figure out a way to do the thing we say we can’t do.
In this situation, our brains wouldn’t see an opportunity to become a runner if it stood in front of us wearing a sign that said, “I train people to run.”
I’ve taught more than one person to run and I’ve trained with people who were previously couch potatoes until they could do a triathlon with me (more than one!)
My acquaintance didn’t hear me say any of that, not really. She didn’t take it in because her brain had already moved on and was busy thinking about things she thought were possible.
Next time you hear yourself say, “I can’t,” stop and think about what you are saying.
Do you really mean “I can’t?”
Maybe it would be more accurate to say, “Part of me thinks I can’t run, but another part of me thinks I might be able to.”Or would it be more accurate to say, “I’ve never thought about…running, (or cooking, or changing jobs?)”
Maybe what you really mean is: “I don’t want to run.”
Take a moment to look a little deeper into yourself the next time you tell yourself, “I can’t.”
I once thought I couldn’t run a marathon.
I once thought I couldn’t have a baby.
I once thought I couldn’t be a writer.
Turns out I could.
What about you?