For the past few months, I’ve been doing a little experiment on my life, just to see what happens. The experiment involves noticing one thing whenever I consider doing something:
I notice if it feels good, or if it feels bad.
If it feels good, I commit to it, agree to it, or do it.
If it feels bad, I don’t commit to it, agree to it, or do it.
This experiment has had some surprising results. Surprising to me, anyway.
Why?
Because, before this experiment, I still held the unconscious belief that if I did only what I wanted, my life would fall apart and I’d end up divorced, bankrupt, and friendless. And, oh yeah, my house would be a shambles (assuming I still had a house.)
Sound a little extreme? I’ve noticed that unconscious beliefs usually are. Otherwise, we wouldn’t try to hide them from ourselves by remaining unconscious.
So, my surprising results:
Nothing happened.
Nothing bad, anyway. It’s been over three months and my husband still loves me, I’ve actually paid off thousands of dollars worth of debt, and my friends remain a great blessing in my life. And, oh yeah, my house looks pretty much the same–maybe even a little better.
With regard to life coaching, I added more public speaking, which can be pretty scary, but I only agreed to speak on topics that I’m totally passionate about. The result? I’m a little scared, but it’s more scary-excited than scary-nauseated, you know what I mean? Also, I’ve added more discovery sessions to my calendar. The result of that is talking to more people about coaching, which is always fun, and some new clients—also fun!
On the home front, I’ve committed to getting out of debt. I was scared about this one, too, but it was again that scary-excited feeling, and the thought of being debt-free feels great! I know people who live totally debt-free and I have come to believe it’s possible for me to do the same. I thought I would feel deprived if I lived by a budget, but I’m really enjoying it (and sticking to it!) Sounds crazy—feels true.
My husband recently asked me if I wanted to start getting cable again when he starts his new job next month. I thought about it—I really miss the Food Network—but I said “No.” I’d really rather pay off $85 worth of debt each month than watch Chopped every Tuesday night.
When a friend (Katie McClain—check her out!) asked me to contribute a product for the launch of her new book, saying “yes” felt really good. I wrote an e-book on blended families that’s been in my head for years. Score!
By taking concrete steps to confront my unconscious belief about doing what feels good, I have disproved my old story: I can no longer tell it because it is so obviously untrue.
I’m going to keep asking myself what feels good—not as an experiment, but as a way of life.