I have been keeping a gratitude journal on and off for years. I tend to write in it most nights, but not every night. If my husband goes to bed before me, I don’t usually turn the light on to write out my gratitude list. Sometimes, if I’m feeling especially grateful, I walk carefully through the dark bedroom to my bedside table, retrieve my gratitude journal, and write my list in the bathroom with the door closed so the light doesn’t wake my husband. Sometimes I do it the next morning, or I just skip it until the next night. I’ve been known to write a gratitude list and email it to my sister.
I can’t remember why I started making gratitude lists; it was long before I read all the research coming out of the social sciences and positive psychology that say gratitude is good for us. Here’s an example of those benefits, taken from Thanks! How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier, by Robert A. Emmons:
“Research has shown that grateful people experience higher levels of positive emotions such as joy, enthusiasm, love, happiness, and optimism, and that the practice of gratitude as a discipline protects a person from the destructive impulses of envy, resentment, greed, and bitterness.”
The day I really saw the benefit of making a gratitude list was the day, a few years ago now, that I had my second miscarriage. It was a pretty bleak day for me and my husband. We’d been trying for years to have a baby and I was so hopeful that this time we would be successful.
That night, I got into bed a little early. I automatically reached for my gratitude journal and made a list of 5 things I was truly grateful for. After I wrote out the list, I felt a little better. Knowing that even then, on what felt like the worst day of my life, I had at least 5 things to be grateful for, was helpful. Yes, it was a very difficult day, and yes, I would have liked things to have gone differently, but I still had many good things (people) in my life.
Making that list made me see the goodness of life and gave me hope that I would someday be able to write “I am grateful for my child,” and have it be true.
And it is.
What are you grateful for?
I will be speaking at Rodger’s Memorial Library, Hudson, NH, tomorrow night, Thursday, March 21st, on the topic: Your Brain on Gratitude. Please join us if you can. Click here for more information.
Sweet post! So happy you were able to become a mother – definitely a momentous thing to be grateful for!
I’m not a particularly religious person but generally spiritual and don’t have a gratitude journal. Every morning as soon as I wake up and every night before I go to sleep I have a “gratitude talk” with God/Buddha/Allah/The Goddess (or whatever name you want to put on that universal force that connects us).
On a good day it’s easy to be grateful. On a bad day, you’re forced to step back and THINK about the small (or not so small) things you tend to overlook when you’re stressed, angry, discouraged, etc. But the practice of gratitude does two accomplishes two things for me that are so important: First, it forces me to see good things I might otherwise miss because I’m too busy wallowing or being angry about; second, it helps me identify my own imperfections and/or admirable responses. So then, when I “pray” I get to outline the good still in my life and thus avoid letting the bad dominate – plus, the inward look at my own responses allows me to work to either improve on my reaction to similar situations in the future OR helps me be grateful for the strengths I already have. When I start my day being grateful, it also helps set the tone. “Okay, today is gloomy and rainy, but I’m looking forward to making homemade soup to get rid of the chill.” Sounds silly, but even the small stuff makes a big difference in our attitudes.
I just love your posts!
Hi Laura,
Thanks for your comments and for sharing your gratitude practice. For me, writing things down helps me slow down enough to reflect on what I’m truly grateful for. I agree, some days it is easier than others, but the ongoing practice makes me notice more and more opportunities for gratitude during the day.
Warmly,
Diane