One of the tools Martha Beck taught me many years ago that I’ve used the most is “The 3 ‘B’s.” The 3 B’s are three ways to handle tasks or jobs that don’t really float your boat—things you’d rather not do, if you felt like you had a choice.
The 3 B’s:
1. Bag It. Just decide not to do it. You’ve been meaning to clean out that closet for months and it hasn’t happened. Why not let yourself off the hook? Take it off your to-do list for the next 6 months, or for any period of time that seems reasonable to you.
If the chore is something like “host a dinner party” when you have no interest in cooking and the whole idea makes your stomach hurt, make the decision not to do it. You can find other ways to let your friends know you love them. “Bagging” a task means giving up on the person you wish you were and coming to terms with the person you are.
2. Barter It. Trade skills. If you are set on getting that closet cleaned out, but hate the idea of tackling it yourself, ask a super-organized friend over to do the job for you. I bet she’d love the chance to create order out of chaos! Offer to do something for her that you enjoy doing (perhaps a home cooked meal?) Over the years I’ve bartered my coaching services (I skill I have and enjoy) for many things that were beyond me—not least of which was a beautiful flower garden that I would never have been able to design or implement, but which pleased me every time I walked to my front door (I still miss and I moved 6 years ago!)
3. Better It. Find a way (or ways) to make the dreaded chore less dreaded. I used to stay late at work every night after I finished seeing patients because I wanted to take care of every detail before I went home for the day. This usually involved me sitting at my desk, freezing, hungry, and increasingly exhausted, until all the work was done. Then I’d go home, eat a bowl of cereal, and go to bed. I found a way to better this process. I started taking a dinner break at the office before diving into the rest of my paperwork. I got a space heater. I started keeping a fleece in the office. Then, when I finally got home, I wasn’t quite so exhausted because I’d taken much better care of my physical needs. Those small changes had a big impact on my quality of life.
Think of some chore that’s been weighing on your mind. How could you apply the 3 B’s to this task?
I really liked “Bag It!”…
I write a “TO DO TODAY” list every day (when I don’t, not much gets done) and the chores that I can’t do in one day get added to “TO DO LIST” on my electronic reminder Calendar. Sometimes the chores that sit on the “TO DO LIST” sit there for so long I find myself feeling guilty about them. Other times I look at them and simply put a line through them or delete them because they are no longer relevant. Thanks for reminding me that sometimes it’s better to simply decide that some of the TO DOs are not worth doing 🙂
Hi Zakgirl,
Thanks for your comments. One of the easiest ways for me to feel good is to look at my To Do list and run a line through something that I know I’m not going to do. Making that decision instead of staying in the limbo of “I’ll get to it…someday” is very helpful.
Also, I use a yearly planner and sometimes I will decide to take something off the list until a particular time. So I take it off my current list and put it on when I know I’ll have time to do it–or when I know it’ll be more of a priority so it will actually get done then. As an example, I’ve started another blog that I have not made public yet and I recently decided to take the summer off from posting to it. It’s on my calendar in September when I know I’ll have more time to write for a new blog.
Thanks for reading!
Warmly,
Diane