A friend of mine was excited to show me the list she’d made of all the daily tasks she’s going to do for herself. The list included things like “create art,” “be in nature,” and “exercise.”
There were six items on her list.
“It’s a great list,” I said, “but when are you going to do all these things?”
I know; I’m such a killjoy!
That’s because I’ve come to believe that all my to-do lists are really just wishes and dreams. I can make a to-do list as long as my arm—and it’s great to get it out of my head and onto paper (or my phone,) but nothing on my list is going to happen unless I put it on my calendar.
Once I schedule something on my calendar, it’s no longer a wish or a dream; it’s a goal. Have you ever heard that quote, “a goal is a dream with a due date?”
Well, all my dreams have due dates these days. Except the ones that are on my “Someday” list. Those are still dreams. For now.
I used to think that scheduling myself took away my freedom. Back when I was completely overscheduled, when I saw patients every 15-30 minutes throughout the day, I thought I’d never schedule myself like that when I worked for myself.
And I don’t. I don’t overschedule myself–usually. Turns out it’s a hard habit to break. But I am much better at it than I used to be. 🙂
This year, especially, I’ve been scheduling myself more and more. I schedule my exercise and my writing time, and I have regular business hours. Even if I don’t have a client appointment, I’m updating my website or working on my next presentation.
But from 2:30 PM to 6 PM, I have no work scheduled. That’s family time. I might get some work done during those hours, depending on the day, but I rarely schedule anything during those hours on weekdays.
I’ve noticed that I don’t always feel like doing what I’ve scheduled myself to do. I’ve come to expect that feeling and do it anyway.
I honor my calendar because I want to build trust with myself. I’m great at meeting external commitments—from a lunch date with a friend to helping a colleague prep for a presentation to a client appointment, but I haven’t been so great at honoring my commitments to myself.
That’s changing. I have big goals and the only way I’m going to meet them and become the person I want to be is to honor my commitments to myself.
Despite my scheduling, there are also big blank spaces on my calendar. In those blank spaces, I live my life, being present with my family and myself.
Before I scheduled myself so much, I’d read to my son at bedtime every night, as I do now. Back then, I would often read while also thinking about work. I wasn’t really present with my son; I was in the future, wondering how much I could get done before I fell asleep.
Now when I read to my son, I’m with him, thinking only about him and the story we’re reading.
Freedom!