I’m reading Gretchen Rubin’s book, The Happiness Project. It’s about one woman’s decision to spend a year trying to become happier. The book’s wonderful and Gretchen does a good job of describing her day-to-day struggles to focus on things that make her happier.

One of the points the author makes in the book is that she has to do things that make her happy—her, not anyone else. While she might wish she loved to be outside in nature, she realizes that she’d rather read until noon on a free day than walk in the park.

Part of her happiness project is giving herself permission to do the things that she knows give her pleasure.

I think, for a lot of us, that’s difficult.

The first of Gretchen’s Twelve Personal Commandments is to “Be Gretchen.” While she encourages her readers to make up their own personal commandments, I think the first one for all of us could be to be ourselves. The person we really are, not the person we think is more acceptable to those around us or the person we wish we were.

I really wish I loved to read history, as my brother does, but the truth is I’d rather read fiction, or psychology and self-help books than read about the Civil War.

While reading The Happiness Project, I’ve started to think about the things that make me happy. Sometimes it’s difficult to call things to mind, so I’ve started to make a list, which helps me look for opportunities to do the things that keep me happy.

For example, yoga makes me happy lately so I had looked up the yoga schedule for the week at my local studio to see where I could put it into my schedule. I also had my mat and towel ready in my car. When my husband came home earlier than expected one evening, I was glad to see him but didn’t immediately think of going to yoga. When he asked me if I had any plans for the evening, I glanced at the clock and realized that I had time to go to yoga class.

Having thought about it ahead of time allowed me to be prepared enough to get to class on time. A small thing but it made a big difference in my day.

Another thing I really love to do is swim. Last week during my son’s swimming lesson, rather than sit and watch him, I swam laps in another part of the pool. I was able to swim a third of a mile while he was busy and happy doing his own thing nearby.

All I had to do was give myself permission to “Be Diane.” That involved getting past the thought, “all of the other parents are watching their children.” That thought wasn’t even true, but I kept thinking it—until I stopped and went swimming!

What are the things that make you happy? How can you add them to your day?