Recently, I talked to a group of people about healthy habits. I spoke about what I believe are the foundation of a healthy lifestyle. For the record, they are good food/hydration, good sleep, good relationships, and play.
While I shared tips and strategies that create that good foundation, I also shared my opinion that the first step happens at the level of our thoughts.
I got into life coaching many years ago because I was looking for a way to help my patients put into practice the positive changes they agreed they needed to make but couldn’t.
One of the most effective ways to change behavior, some would argue the only way, is to change your thinking about the behavior.
And, just like losing weight or quitting smoking, that’s not so easy to do.
But it can be done.
Think of one positive change you’d like to make. Try to choose a very small change. It could be as simple as going to bed at a decent hour every night or cutting out soda from your diet.
Now, say to yourself, “I’m going to_______________ .” Fill in the blank with whatever change you want to make.
This should trigger a slew of thought: write them down.
For example, “I’m going to go to bed at 10 PM every night,” might trigger thoughts like these:
There’s no way I can do that, I won’t get everything done. I’ll never stick to it. What about when X needs me? What about when Y happens?
You may even discover thoughts like these:
You’re too disorganized, you don’t deserve to go to bed early. When you get your act together, then you can go to bed at 10 PM.
While it may be discouraging to discover these self-sabotaging thoughts, it’s really just a step in the process of creating positive change.
You see, once you know what you are thinking, you can work with the thoughts. You’ll discover you have options.
One option is to recognize the thought is a lie. Have you ever heard the expression, “Don’t believe everything you think?” It reminds me that just because a thought passes through my mind doesn’t mean it’s true. Sometimes as soon as I write out a thought, I see it isn’t true and it loses it’s power to affect my behavior.
Sometimes the thought isn’t that simple. That’s when I turn to Byron Katie and The Work: a set of 4 questions and a turnaround, which I’ve written about before.
I use The Work on any thought that causes me pain or interferes with me becoming my best self.
Another option is to reduce your change to something that feels ridiculously easy, something that doesn’t trigger all those negative thoughts.
For example, I could go to bed 5 minutes earlier than I usually do. Even 1 minute earlier will help me start the process of positive change.
Healthy habits are worth pursuing. Remember, change starts when your thoughts change.