A few weeks ago, I had an epiphany. But first, I had a meltdown. That’s when I realized I was pushing myself in a way that I would never do to anyone else. You see, my son had been sick, I’d been sick, and other family members needed care. So I cared for everyone and still got work done. But in my head I was talking to myself as if I was the biggest slacker that ever lived. It was only in describing how “little” I’d gotten done to my Mastermind group that I finally heard how unreasonable I sounded.
Then I felt bad about how hard I was being on myself.
That’s when I had the epiphany: If I truly want to feel good and enjoy each moment, something I’ve been focusing on for the past few years, I need to accept myself as I am and have some kindness and compassion for myself.
I made this one of my goals: Practice self-love daily (hourly, minutely).
I started rereading The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle, and I immediately started to feel better: My thoughts are not me.
One line really hit me: It was clear from the data we cannot give our children what we don’t have.
So now I’m really on a mission to practice self-love. I want my son to be able to accept himself and love himself just as he is. I know what a miracle he is, I want to make sure he knows it, too—and not in an entitled, I’ve-been-handed-everything-so-I-deserve-everything kind of way. In a “yep, this is me,” kind of way.
So how do I practice self-love? By accepting whatever I’m thinking (although not necessarily believing it), feeling, doing, and looking like in this moment.
The other day I had a bad headache. Normally, I resist the headache and have all kinds of thoughts about why I shouldn’t have a headache, or I blame myself for the headache (I didn’t drink enough water, I didn’t eat soon enough after I got up, etc.) I can also spend a lot of time thinking about how the headache is ruining my day.
This time I told the headache (because it’s part of me, after all): “I accept you, headache. Here you are and I’m not going to resist you. You’re here and that’s okay.”
I had the headache for most of the day but when my husband asked me how my day was, my honest answer was, “Great!” I’d taken my son to the library and done errands with him. Nothing big but I actually enjoyed all of it. The headache was a part of my day, but it didn’t take it over, as it would have in the past.
Self-love is a daily (hourly, minutely) practice. Are you practicing?