Who would you rather ask a favor from? Say you need a babysitter or even, God forbid, to borrow $100?

Here are your choices:

Friend A, who will interrogate you about why you need a babysitter or what you want the money for. You know she will do this as she always does. She’ll usually do you the favor or give you the money, but you can’t get out of explaining why—and she doesn’t always approve of your reasons.

Friend B, who will ask you the date and time and how long if it’s the babysitting gig, or will ask you when you need the money if it’s the loan. Once you answer those questions, she says “yes,” or “no.” And that’s the end of it.

Who did you pick? I pick Friend B. I don’t mind her saying no, and I really like not having to explain my reasons for wanting or needing a favor. Having to justify my request makes me feel like a child. And I’m not—a child, that is. I’ve been making my own decisions for many a year now.

Byron Katie talks about three kinds of business in her book, Loving What Is. There is: my business, your business, and God’s business.

Whose business is it what I need a babysitter for? Mine. Whose business is it whether or not a friend babysits for me? Hers. All she needs to decide is whether or not she can babysit.

Whose business is it what I need $100 for? Mine. Many people might disagree, but I believe this is true. Whose business is it whether or not my friend loans me money? Hers.

So I will usually choose Friend B to go to for a favor, and I am trying hard to be a Friend B. It’s not always easy, and we haven’t even talked about God’s business! All I’ll say about that is I can’t control the things I can’t control, so I’m not even going to try (mostly.)

Are you a Friend A or a Friend B?