When you are in the midst of a major change or transition in your life, at some point you have to stop making plans, dreaming, making lists, and goal-setting; you have to actually do something!
When you do something in service to your new identity or life, now you are on the hero’s journey. Once you put your dreams or goals into action, you will find that things don’t always (actually, almost never) turn out the way you thought they would. It’s a whole lot of “two steps forward and one step back.”
For example, back in 2005, I was working three days a week as a physician, taking call, and working two days a week as a life coach. I dreamed of doing more group work. I offered a life coaching retreat in my living room and people signed up and it went better than I ever expected. I thought I was really rolling, but I offered another retreat and no one signed up for it—two steps forward, one step back. Wondering what I was doing wrong, I started offering classes through some local adult education programs and people attended. I started offering classes at other locations. Slowly, I gained some momentum with my group work.
A couple years later, I felt that I was coming to the end of my “hero’s saga” with regard to my work as a life coach. I was the resident life coach at a wonderful medical center (True North Health Center) that had medical doctors offices but also offices for other healers such as naturopaths, acupuncturists, energy healers, and shaman. My work life was starting to look ideal. I felt that I had the best of both worlds: I got to work as a physician and as a life coach, with amazing colleagues, clients, and patients in both places.
Then my husband got his dream job—in another state. (Two steps forward, one step back.) When he had started the job-hunting process, we discussed it at length. I told him how happy I was with my current work situation but recognized that he needed a change. I told him if he found his dream job, I’d go with him, wherever he wanted to go. What I actually said was, “I’ll move, but not for any old job. If you find your dream job, I’ll go with you, but not for the same old job in a different place.”
It took him a year, but he found (designed) his dream job. So we moved. I left True North at the end of my contract, got a new job as a physician in a wonderful practice in Derry, NH, and started coaching more by phone than in person.
I’m still in Square Three of the change cycle with regard to my work life, but I’m pretty comfortable here. I know that not everything—nothing, really—works out the way you imagine it. I just keep trying new things that feel good to me, keep the things that work, and redesign the things that don’t.
Most of us are pretty comfortable with Square Three, the Hero’s Saga, because it’s how we live our lives. A trip to the grocery store can be a heroic journey, with twists and turns, obstacles and triumphs.
Where are you on your Hero’s Journey today?