Last weekend my husband, son, and I went camping with some friends and family. We waited until the rain stopped, and still it seemed a little crazy to be tent camping in October. But it was only overnight and the second day was supposed to be beautiful.
That night we all got in our sleeping bags and went to sleep. My husband set up a cot for my son and then zipped two sleeping bags together on an air mattress for us. At bedtime (the same, 9 PM, for all three of us) my son said he wanted to sleep on the air mattress with me so my husband took the cot.
My son was dressed warmly and had his cozy Lightning McQueen blanket on in the sleeping bag. He was toasty warm and fell asleep instantly. He didn’t move all night.
I, on the other hand, was freezing cold. I kept getting up and putting more clothes on but I was still cold. Then, of course, I had to get up to go to the bathroom but I didn’t want to because, as cold as I was in my sleeping bag, I knew it was a lot colder outside the sleeping bag.
It was a long night but a very peaceful one. While I was chilled, my son was warm. While I lay awake, my son was sleeping deeply. Those thoughts were all I needed to create a feeling of contentment. It was only one night. I knew morning would come and we’d get up and make a fire and I’d be warm again.
Once morning came, my husband and I compared notes. He’d been awake a lot, too, but the day’s agenda was light so neither of us was stressed about the lack of sleep.
I made the comment that it was much easier to lie awake when I’m not tortured by my thoughts.
I got thinking about other times when I couldn’t sleep for one reason or another: times when my negative thoughts had caused a sleepless night to be a true misery. I don’t really have nights like that any more and the absence is a blessing I hadn’t noticed until this past weekend.
There were times in my life when I would do almost anything to avoid sitting with my thoughts. I would read until dawn, or work so hard I couldn’t help dropping into sleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
It’s not that I never have negative thoughts. I do, but when a negative thought appears, I don’t automatically believe it. I question it and notice whether I want to keep thinking it.
When I question the negative thoughts, they seem to lose their impact. If the thought might not be true, why waste my time thinking it? My mind moves on to other, more positive, thoughts.
Like: My son is warm and cozy. He’s getting a good night’s sleep.
Simple thoughts, yes, but they bring me a world of comfort.
What do you choose to think in the middle of the night?